Why Being an English Major was a Bad Idea…

1) Two words: English Literature

2) One word: Literature

3) Who the heck cares, and how is it relevant to life that Tennyson is buried in Westminster Abbey (although I must admit I will never forget that minor fact that took my last test score below an eighty.)

4) I hate you, Samuel Taylor Coleridge

5) Although I agree with expanding our minds in the field of critical thinking, can we please “critically think” about something other than literature from the eighties? Eighteen eighties that is….

6) Dr. Sarnowski– I believe in some cases of literature (let’s take The Bible for one), it is extremely important to figure out what the author means… it is not right to merely internally analyze works based on what we think the text is saying. The text isn’t saying anything– it’s all the person writing it!

7) Also, Dr. Sarnowski– we can’t read your handwriting when you mark up our papers. I have not read one note you’ve made on my novel papers all semester. Please write more legibly.

8) I’m getting a 98% in my Nutrition class!!! And I can’t stand Science classes!!! What does that say about my English classes?!?! Huh!!??

9) Through the millions of works we’ve read so far, we have learned that one must be accepting of new styles of writing as they come along, and that there is no wrong way to write. So how does it make sense that our papers are marked down if they don’t conform specifically to what our professors want? We are not clones of each other!!!

10) When I write a famous novel someday, I will include this postscript:

Dear Professor using this book in your class:
When I wrote this book, its intended purpose was for enjoyment only, not
as a tool for inflicting pain on others.
Please do not subject your students to over-analyzation of this book.
Take it from me,the author, that the theme, thesis, etc. in
this book are clear enough for a second
grader to understand, but if you need further reassurance of,
“what this book means” please refer to the jacket cover.
Thank you.


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6 thoughts on “Why Being an English Major was a Bad Idea…

  1. Lady Liberty March 17, 2005 / 2:14 am

    Hmm I wish was in high school still I could study your book and not “The old man and the Sea” which should be title “105 of these 120 pages is about a fishermand trying to reel in a really big marlin”

  2. Lady Liberty March 17, 2005 / 2:14 am

    Hmm I wish was in high school still I could study your book and not “The old man and the Sea” which should be title “105 of these 120 pages is about a fishermand trying to reel in a really big marlin”

  3. Lady Liberty March 17, 2005 / 2:15 am

    I wish was in high school still I could study your book and not “The old man and the Sea” which should be title “105 of these 120 pages is about a fishermand trying to reel in a really big marlin”

  4. Lady Liberty March 17, 2005 / 2:15 am

    Hmm I wish was in high school still I could study your book and not “The old man and the Sea” which should be title “105 of these 120 pages is about a fishermand trying to reel in a really big marlin”

  5. thesmallblondeone March 17, 2005 / 5:24 am

    That's cute, Jenna. But I thought you spelled your last name 'Rebik'– or are you not going for the backward name thing?

  6. Lady Liberty March 17, 2005 / 7:01 am

    ok so I thought this thing wasn't working and it kept on giving me a “cannot find website” message so I clicked it a few times

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